10 Ways to Waste Your 20s

So I don’t know about you guys, but I’m incredibly sick of getting terrible advice about how to “make the most” of my 20s. I decided to choose one of the dumbest lists on this topic and actually follow their (terrible) advice.

Here’s the list I chose. http://thoughtcatalog.com/emily-anne/2013/11/20-things-to-do-in-your-20s/

(you don’t have to read it)

Originally I was going to do the whole list, but most of it was so stupid I decided to cut it in half.

The Mission: Do 10 of the “20 Things To Do in Your 20s”

1. Royally piss off your parents

I’m sure my parents would say that I piss them off all the time. At least I don’t usually do it intentionally. However, since this was a mission (which are very serious), I figured the best way to piss them off would be to pick a stupid fight over the phone. It went like this…

Mom: You should really consider joining a synagogue to meet more people. Nashville has a great Jewish community. (sidenote: this was one of my mom’s monthly attempts to get me to be more Jewish)

Me: Actually, I’m seriously considering converting to Islam.

Mom: Natalie, I don’t believe you.

Me: Why don’t you believe me? You never support my dreams!! Don’t you even care about what I want to do?

Mom: Of course I care–

Me: YOUR FACEBOOK COMMENTS ARE STUPID!

and then I hung up.

 

2. Donate your college clothes.

Umm… but how am I ever going to survive without this shirt?

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Seriously, it’s a shirt with a 6-year-old reference to a YouTube video I’ve never seen. How can I possibly give that away? I mean, I know that it’s too small, fairly uncomfortable, and I haven’t worn it in about 7 months, but that didn’t make this any easier.

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As I walked toward the donation bin, it was like the shirt was begging “Don’t donate me, bro, Don’t donate me, bro!” It got louder with each step.

But this is for a mission. I took one last look, dropped the shirt in the bin, and whispered “Sorry, bro.”

 

3. Figure yourself out.

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Phew, I’m glad that’s over with. I was worried it might take a lifetime.

 

4. Let go of someone you’ve been holding onto.

I might be the only who does this, but I keep a few Facebook friends around solely for the purpose of making fun of their statuses and boosting my self esteem. You know the ones I’m talking about: the people who desperately want attention but won’t put any original thought into what they post. Anyway, I realize that remaining friends with them not only wastes my time, but also makes me a bit more douchey than I’d like to be. Time to Unfriend.

 

5. Get a pet.

World, meet Baxter.

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Isn’t he precious?!

 

6. Exercise.

I run most days, so this was pretty easy. The challenging part is to make running feel less like a chore. So here are some of the things I do to make sure I don’t start hating it…

– Yell at birds
– Chase squirrels
– SPRINT
– Pretend like I’m a dinosaur/plane/unicorn
– See how long I can go without thinking
– Run somewhere pretty

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7. Pig out on junk food.

Well this sounds like the perfect excuse to get TACO BELL!!

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Awwww yeaaa. I got the Chili cheese loaded griller, the Chicken chipotle loaded griller, and the Cinnabon Delights.

The chili cheese griller was mostly delicious. It had beef, cheese, and potatoes that complemented each other perfectly. The chicken chipotle griller was not quite up to par. It wasn’t terrible, but the sour cream was overpowering and the chicken was kind of weird. I’m pretty convinced that all fast food places have weird chicken.

The Cinnabon delights, however… I don’t even have words. I’d heard good things about them, but nothing prepared me for the intense pleasure that flooded my mouth as soon as a bit into the warm, crunchy piece of heaven. After the first bite, I thought “there’s no way the second bite could top this.” I WAS WRONG. It was even better.

If you haven’t tried them, you should probably try them.

 

8. Watch the News.

Does the Onion count? Because that’s all the news I’m going to watch.

 

9. Move.

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I moved to Nashville a year ago. It’s been supercool so far. Also, I think everyone who reads this should move to Nashville so I have more people to do missions with. (If you do live in Nashville and want to help with missions, let me know!)

 

10. Enjoy it.

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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

 

 

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