Could I BE wearing any more clothes?

So I was watching Friends last week, and there was a scene where Joey got pissed at Chandler and decided to put on all of his clothes.

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My first thought when I saw this was “there’s no way anyone could wear all of their clothes.”

My next thought was “I have to try.”

The Mission: wear all of my clothes at the same time.

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That amounts to:

2 shorts
5 pants
8 tank tops
15 t-shirts
2 long sleeve shirts
5 sweaters
2 cardigans

(I decided not to include p jamz, underwear, dress clothes, or coats)

First I had to figure out what order to put the clothes on. If I started with pants, it might be too difficult to walk around. But if I started with shirts, then it’d be harder to bend over. What to do…

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I started with the pants. Most of my pants are supertight, so putting them on top of each other was quite the struggle. Cords are great for cold weather, making that nice “swish” noise, and looking amazing – but fitting on top of other cords is NOT one of their strong points. I did it, though, and I even managed to button all of them. Now for phase two.

Clearly this is the shirt I had to begin with…

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(props to anyone who gets the reference)

This started out fairly easy. Tightest shirts first, steady pace, pants feelin’ weird but not unbearable.

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8 shirts in. Lots to go.

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16 down. It’s getting hot. And I hadn’t even started the long sleeves.

Long sleeves…. it’s what I’d been dreading.

You know when you get in your car with your sweater on and think “oh it’s cold out, I can just leave my sweater on.”

But then you start to get hot, and now you’re driving down the interstate with your seat belt on thinking “why did I do this?! These layers are stifling my soul!” Then you awkwardly maneuver to take your sweater off while trying not to cause any wrecks.

Imagine that feeling, but instead of trying to take one sweater off, you’re trying to put 5 of them on.

3 sweaters in. I could barely move my arms. I felt like Sweet Dee in the Always Sunny musical.

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“It’s okay,” I thought, “Just 2 more to go, then the cardigans will be easy.”

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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

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Little did I know, the hardest part was yet to come. Taking all these clothes off took about twice as long as putting them on. Plus, I was hot, sweaty, and could barely move.

By the time I took my pants off, a layer of sweat congealed and caused the fabric to tighten and stick to my skin.

The last pair alone took about 5 minutes to take off, and I ended up looking like this…

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So, to answer the original question of “Could I BE wearing any more clothes?”

Probably. But dear god I hope not.

 

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